My Next Chapter

Some days I wake up feeling blessed and plentiful. More than ever, I realise the existence of life and the frailty of it and commend myself on my ability to have survived till now.

Some days I wake up damned and banished. My world dark and grey and prospects non-existing. I loathe the living I have yet to do and frown upon the life that I have thus far led.

Today was none of these.

Today I woke up with the beginning of a lovely letter that starts as such...

Dear Dreamboat

And it continues naturally on...

I wonder how I love thee...

Have I been poisoned by the new-found love of the people I know? Am I lost in the seas of the many years past? Have I been muddled by age?

And I realise... the shape of the love I offer, be it platonic, romantic or lustful, is constantly changing, even when it remains in its rightful category. In the past, I have transited between different forms somewhat ignorantly, but I do realise the change on hindsight.

This is however the first time I am observing the change while it is happening. How crippling and humbling at the same time.

And till my love takes the form of the shape that it is destined to be. I am waiting for my next chapter.