You Hor, Always Like That One

If this post doesn’t appease certain individuals then I believe that all is now lost and gone. Forever. Remember those days in primary school, where there are unseen but conscious boundaries between the shy and noisy students, the smart and not so smart and between the obedient and borderline ADD ones? This is the post that will put me squarely in the obedient category. I mean either that or the ‘royally screwed-up’ category... take your pick.

Being an overseas student, life is so boring. And considering that the phrase ‘an overseas student’ often come with the unsaid prefix of ‘poor’ we are left with nothing for entertainment. Studying is the entrée, the main course, the dessert and the night cap. While there are times that call for a splurge, most times are spent in frugal moments. I wrote about that sometime back.

Remember one of my recent posts? That one about being cheap and running outdoors? I am thoroughly amused that there are people who miss the main point (running) and instead focus on the accompanying details (being cheap). And it is those exact people that I met while on my weekend back to Singapore last week.

Dining at an Indian restaurant and sitting at a round table has never been that terrifying. It was like some sort of Muay Thai kick-boxing championships. Thanks to YH aka the ringleader that night, who managed to choreograph the entire event well, no food was airborne and no physical abuse was meted out. But I find it hard to forget that exact moment when he gave the okay to certain individuals to reprimand me. I had to field off legions of questions beginning with the interrogating ‘WHY’. I had to retort with lousy second-rated excuses and put up with the reply, a hostile and unforgiving, ‘YOU HOR, ALWAYS LIKE THAT ONE’. And this is all the while Mr. Ringleader sat back on his comfortably padded chair, with his personal manager at his side, enjoying the show.

I have been scarred.

Since I have been back, I have eaten out less than half of the time. This is an achievement in itself for I have not managed this since the days of June. And more amazingly, I now eat a healthy salad and ham sandwich on the way to school. Yes, you read that right. I just said SALAD. I think it is a vile word if you ask me, but yes I have been eating it every single morning since I am BACK.

ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?

If I could, I would transport myself back to that Indian restaurant day. Maybe I could still manage to salvage some part of me for I am pretty sure that you people murdered the ‘me’ that I was before, and replaced me with this monster of a thing.

I shop at Woolies for groceries. And it is crazy that I no longer buy nachos or canned soup. I now grab milk, eggs, capsicum and apples. No more chocolates. And every time I lean into the freezer section of Woolies, be it to grab the hugely discounted microwavable pies or to get that ‘Buy 2 Get 1 Free’ fish fingers, I inevitably withdraw that offensive hand reaching out to those empty calories and slam that fridge door shut. Because I hear a looming,

‘YOU HOR, ALWAYS LIKE THAT ONE’

Dudes, you guys have officially made me schizophrenic. And is it obedient or royally screwed, go ahead, you take your pick.