Feeling particularly snarky today I decided to make a list. It is not a surprise that most lists are boring but hey, anything organised generally is so don't be judgemental with this particular one.
But then again this list cannot be boring for the fact that it describes 5 scenarios which I find particularly irritating. And I am sure that my thoughts are so commonplace that most can find themselves identifying with at least one of them. So feast your eyes. I am not responsible for any stones that might be thrown in anger
1. The word ‘pop’. Particularly when used in cosmetic videos/advertisements/compliments.
Honestly. Who are you trying to bluff here. Your eyes are still flat on your face. Doesn’t matter how much eye shadow you put on. The angles and shape of your eyes remains, surprise surprise, the same. Go have a look at the dictionary. Saying pop has to imply that your eyes either exploded, or protruded or is pushed/thrust/put out suddenly. So please. Go pop a balloon, pop a bottle of beer. Pop in a CD. Pop a cherry even, but leave your eyes alone.
2. Saying LOL in a real life conversation.
LOL was invented because it simplified the chatting world. It is hard to express laughter in the virtual world with 3 or less alphabets. Hence LOL was invented and developed. Laughing in real life is actually simpler and easier and not to mention better for you then saying LOL since there is those awesome chemicals that are produced. So please, don’t use ‘lol’ verbally in real life. Not cool to say ‘lawl’. Doesn’t matter where and how. Unless of course you are saying it as a quote to illustrate how some people use it, then that is fine I guess.
3. Answering a question with another question.
Ever had that scenario where you arrive with friends to a certain destination and someone ask, ‘Where are we going?’ and the other person reply ‘Where would you like to go?’ This is a classic example of answering a question with another. And it drives me nuts. Why on earth do people do that? If you don’t know where you are going, say DON’T KNOW. It is not that hard. Don’t act like a smart-ass by answering a question with another question. Not attractive at all. Answer the existing question if you have to speak if not silence is equally appealing.
4. Asking a question and not waiting for an answer.
This is called a monologue. But of course you don’t need me to tell you that. It is relatively ok if it is someone stressed talking to themselves. But it is not cool when you are in a position of authority, standing at the front of a swanky meeting room, heading an all-important meeting that you called. I have witness so many of this coat wearing, big headed, self absorbed beings standing at the front of a room, asking their employees questions to clarify matters and avert the answer by either answering it themselves or directing it to someone who does not know the answer and hence won’t reply. Honestly. What are you doing? Engaging yourself in a power struggle? How interesting… If you need someone to tell you how powerful you are, go home to your loved one. Or go parent a child… They will gladly express how grateful they are to you. Don’t take it out on your employees.
5. People who call you and then ask you who you are.
This often happens when you are picking up a phone on behalf of the actual owner of the phone line. Say your friend is busy with poopy diapers. Or your grandmother is taking a nap, or your father is driving the car. You kindly pick up the phone on their behalf and say ‘hello’ only to be verbally assaulted by the voice on the other line, which almost always aggressively go ‘who are you?’ So. Which dumbo calls another and ask ‘who are you’ upon getting a ‘hello’. It is a universal rule that the person who initiates the call introduces himself or herself. Why do such people even exists?
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