I tell your mother then you know.

So.

May marks the 4^th month of the job. I have officially lost my mind. And if this whole thing is an infant, this is the point where I stuff a cork up the arse so that I never have to clean up the odd textured non-Newtonian liquid oozing from the top of the diaper.

Yes I will be a good mother that way.

College living has officially sterilized me. Hear that Mr S.O? You get your wish. I have no more desire for 4 kids and you can now cancel that secret snip snip that you wanted to do on the sly.

I have not said anything about Mr. SO for the longest time. And there are people out there getting worried. You come up to me asking how on earth is he doing when here I am right in front of you in pieces and you don’t give a damn? Fine.

Well, I barely speak to him anymore with this alternate life that I am living as a responsible adult with absolutely no appetite for alcohol, dangerous/risky behavior. He is still Mr. SO but it is just that maybe it is time we ‘reconnect’ on facebook. But hey, that is alright with me cause some idiot once said that absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Anyway. If you are after some Mr SO info, he is feeling mighty proud for he just received his brand-new spanking scratch-free 15” Macbook. And being the nerd that he was, he baptized it with his simulation software. Even before a Skype session with his girlfriend who he has not seen in ages.

I know public domestic quarrels are not attractive. And I would never ever want to put all you readers in this awk-ward position. But I have to let him know that 15” is not all that great cause you have yet to see the 27” beast.

Once you go big, you just can’t do small anymore.

That’s right.

Go interpret that sick phrase anyway you like.